


Where Are You Looney Tune?

by BatsyBatsyBatsy



Category: Jokerxharley, Suicide Squad (2016), jxhq - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:24:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatsyBatsyBatsy/pseuds/BatsyBatsyBatsy
Summary: The Joker pieces together what happened to Harley after their car crashed into the river.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the DECU, like all my fics

How did a night that was going so perfectly, turn into this? The Joker dragged himself through the door to his home. Slamming it closed, he let a growl escape his lips.  
A couple of his men poked their heads into the hallway where he was standing dripping from head to toe with river water. Once they realized he wasn’t smiling they knew this wasn’t going to be a good night.  
“You.”  
Joker pointed a long white finger at one of the henchmen.  
“Get me a towel, and you.”  
Pointing at the other.  
“Get me Frost.”  
The scurried away like he had lit their feet on fire, he wished he did. That would have been fun.  
Stomping into the living area, he peeled off his jacket, shirt and shoes, leaving them in a sopping pile next to his wet footprints. His pants still clung to his legs as he paced the soft carpet, but he wasn’t meeting with Frost in his underwear.  
“You wanted to see me boss?”  
Frost stepped into the room carrying the towel he had asked for. He was still dressed sharply, the suit he had one at the club earlier that night. Joker stalked over to him and snatched the towel from his hands.  
“Where’s the guy I sent to get me the towel?”  
He asked in a snarl. His hair was now drying but it fell in his face, and hung in his eyes, absent of his ever-present gel.  
“He gave me the towel to give to you.”  
“Remind me to shoot him later.”  
Joker finished drying his head and torso, before throwing the towel into the discarded pile with is clothes.  
“I will, Boss, can I ask what happened?”  
“That’s exactly why I called you here Frost, the Bat happened. He forced me to crash my lambo into the river, and of course, Harley thinks that was the time to tell me she couldn’t swim!”  
He dramatically fell into the couch.  
“So I had to leave her in the car for batsy to save. Naturally, she’ll be sent to Arkham tonight, so I need you to get into the asylum’s server and tell me when she gets there.”  
“You breaking her out Boss?”  
“Obviously, now send me that guy who I wanted to bring me the towel. I need to unwind.”  
As Frost left the room, Joker pulled out his phone and texted Harley.

Mistah J: Daddy didn’t forget about you, he’s coming…  
~  
“Frost!”  
Joker was still lounging on the couch in the same position Frost had left him in, except now a few bodies littered the floor, and he was getting irritated. He had told Frost to notify him when Harley arrived at Arkham, but he hadn’t heard anything, yet it had been three hours.  
“Yes Boss?”  
Frost arrived in the room moments later.  
“Wheeeere’s Harley, Frost? Surely it hasn’t taken Bats three hours to take her to Arkham.”  
Joker advanced on him, he was feeling quite murdery tonight.  
“I did as you asked me Boss, but Harley never arrived. I even called Arkham claiming to be with the police force to ask if she was there, but the never got a call about her. I don’t know where she is Boss, but it’s not at Arkham.”  
“This is why I keep around Frost old boy, now go away.”  
He began to pace the carpet. “So you never made it Arkham Harley-girl, where are you Doll?” He grabbed his phone off the table next to him.

Mistah J: Did you get away from Bats all by yourself? Daddy’s so proud, now come home Doll  
~  
Daylight began to pour through the windows, bathing the dark wooded floor of the living area in golden light. Though the bodies had been removed hours ago, dried blood still glittered in large pools. Joker paced the purple carpet in the center of the room, he hadn’t stopped since he learned Harley wasn’t in Arkham. Harley still wasn’t home, how could he sleep? His phone lay discarded in the armchair, a string of messages left unanswered.

Mistah J: Where are you?  
Mistah J: I don’t like playing when I don’t know what the game is  
Mistah J: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
Mistah J: Are you mad at me baby? You know I had to leave you in the car, I knew Bats would save you, and I was planning to come get you as soon as you got to Arkham. Come home Harley.

“Boss?”  
The Joker turned to face the voice that had come from the doorway. A group of dripping wet, shivering men stood there. The group he sent down to the river to make sure Harley wasn’t dead in the car.  
“Welll?”  
He twirled his favourite gun between his fingers.  
“S-she’s not there. I-I’m sorry Boss, but it looks like she’s awol.”  
Joker groaned, which quickly turned into a yell of frustration. He shot all five of them who stood in front of him without a moment’s hesitation, and picked his phone up again.

Mistah J: You’re not in Arkham, and you’re not dead in the river, so darling please tell me where the fuck you’re hiding.  
Mistah J: I’m not playing anymore Harley

~  
“Boss?”  
Johnny Frost’s voice cut through the dead silence that filled Joker’s shadowed bedroom. He wasn’t trying to sleep, no, he was slumped over his desk. Crumbled balls of paper surrounded the legs of his chair, and wrinkled sheets covered the desk. The papers were filled with messy smudged notes, some were legitimate ideas as to where Harley could be, but others were indecipherable chick scratch. The writings of a madman.  
“Boss…?”  
Frost ventured again after getting no response the first time. This time he heard a growl, making him swallow nervously. Growls only ever turned out well for Harley.  
“Sorry to bother you Boss, but you might want to turn on the tv. Officer Gordon has some information I think you might be interested in.”  
The Joker stood suddenly, causing papers to float to the ground like hundreds of feathers. He stormed out of the room, shoving Frost into the doorframe in the process.  
As he went to follow his Boss, his eye caught sight of one of the papers which landed near him. Harley’s full name was written in large messy print in the center of the page, and doodles of guns, knives, crowns, hearts, and diamonds surrounded it  
~  
The Joker flew into the tv room where the news was playing, his expression resembling the storm going on outside. Officer Gordon was already speaking when he entered the room.  
“The streets of Gotham are becoming more and more safe with efforts to rid our city of criminals and villains continuing with the past week’s newest arrests…”  
He began rhyming off names of people he didn’t care about going into painful detail of their crimes. He wanted to hold a gun to his temple, and make him get on with it already.  
“Tell me about Harley, come on, where’s Harley?”  
He muttered to himself as he began to pace the floor for what was most likely the thousandth time this week.  
“… and finally, the most high profile arrest from last Friday, Harley Quinn has bee detained as well. I can assure you that she will never harass our city again, she is being kept somewhere with no chance of escaping.”  
With that, Joker broke the TV by throwing it across the room.  
“We’ll see about that.”  
He started back to his bedroom, and met Frost in the hallway. He began to say something which prompted Joker to break his jaw. The sound of bone cracking was oh-so satisfying, the tiniest bit of joy amidst all the loneliness.  
Once alone in his room, he snatched his phone off the floor where he threw it last night. He added to the plethora of messages.

Mistah J: I knew you weren’t hiding baby   
Mistah J: They think it’s funny trying to take you away from me, but they’re wrong Mistah J: I’ll make ‘em pay, and get you back in the process  
 Mistah J: Daddy’s coming doll.

Your last message wasn’t sent because the device you’re trying to reach has been disconnected


End file.
